Horribly Distracted At Hobby Lobby

I risked venturing into “Hobby Lobby” yesterday evening for a completely fruitless search for a 20” x 34” picture frame. However, the trip did yield some truly earth-shattering patterns when I somehow ended up in the fabric department instead of framing (they start with the same letter!).

I'll spare the eyes of casual readers and put the majority of the pictures in the full post. Be warned these are BAD.

Teaser: So orange it blurs your vision.....


Stores like this are really a goldmine for a pattern-collector such as myself but even I had to pause at some of the wacky for sale. The racks of regular cloth are what first caught my eye:

These aren't all bad. It's just the bad are so loud and distracting you have to risk staring to seek out the good (or not-so-bad). I do like the third from the left on the top and the pale-blue-brown flowers pattern in the middle of the second. Later blue-brown combinations were....disappointing.

The real meat of this post came from the upholstery/curtain aisles. Just wow...I was quickly overwhelmed. They apparently stocked up on shockingly loud fabrics. Including, the below eye-catching number:
And what happens when Impressionism explodes:


Brocades are coming back into fashion:
For those who wish to create their own personal Versailles.

They also had a lovely assortment of curtains fresh off the presses in Candyland:


Also, they had rubber fabrics! I can only assume for outdoor tablecloths & such. But seriously, would you put this:
On your back patio? Seriously?

In the middle of all this color, I discovered a string of unfortunate blue-brown patterns that may forever turn me off the combination. Let's start with the misdemenor offender:
Unappealing but it could just be me. The below patterns are however inexcusable:

Warning! Covering your furniture with these patterns increases the risk of suicide by 75%.

The two worst of the worst (on the curtain aisle) still remain. Until now, you only think you've seen color, but alas those were but a pale palette compared to this guy:
It's paint by numbers for chairs!

Finally, the worst of the worst:
If Satan had a grandmother, her couch would be covered in this fabric.

Now, some of the patterns did catch my eye in a pleasant way. For reasons I cannot identify, I like this combination of fabrics:
Anyone want to hazard an explanation?

Curtain-wise I tend to favor sheer or small-flowery patterns like so:



I was also surprised to find myself liking this one:
It looked more pinkish in the store...I wouldn't want this for a full curtain set but on a couple of throw pillows? I don't hate the idea at all.

But by far my favorite print of the trip:
Vaguely dreamy purple flowers, enough to draw the eyes but not overpowering.

After physically removing myself from the fabric section, I continued browsing. During my wandering I discovered that Hobby Lobby has created certain product lines for the disabled. Here's their "Pillows for the Colorblind Collection":


They also had some really disturbing lamps. Apparently, “Victorian Bordello” is making a comeback. And sometimes, they couldn't even get that right....
They didn't quite get it right on this pair. I'm kinda getting a “grandma bordello” vibe which really isn't what I usually go for in a living room.

The best lampshade by far:
Really striking and distinctive. Alluring without the slightly slutty/garish vibe of the other lamps. Like the Grace Kelly of Lampshades.

In conclusion, there was color, a bit of shock and some gorgeous sheer curtains.