With their own T-Shirts....And the most hilarious Amazon reviews ever. My favorite:
After reading the reviews i ordered a dozen of these hoping to either bring my wife back from the dead or at the very least meet the wolf god who took her. Neither of these happened. Nothing has happened. Nothing ever happens, and I don't know why expect online purchases to plug the hole in my heart. Nothing has, nothing will, and certainly not some wolves howling at the moon.*snickers* Link to full post.
Hattip this person on LJ whom I've never heard of before, from this AP article:
A construction official falsely billed $1.2 million for supplies not delivered to clean up a toxic ground zero skyscraper in exchange for cash, clothes and trips to the Caribbean, prosecutors said Tuesday.On a sidenote, Wikipedia links people READING GALT'S GODFORSAKEN 3-HOUR-BUT-IT-FEELS-MUCH-MUCH-LONGER-RADIO-SPEECH-ALOUD!
Robert Chiarappa was the purchasing agent for the John Galt Corp., which was hired to clean up the former Deutsche Bank tower after it was heavily damaged in the 2001 terrorist attack on the World Trade Center across the street.
In the category of I-cannot-believe-I-forgot-to-post-this!
“I want the eyes of a newborn baby!”
Prompted by this lovely piece of advertising (courtesy of a coworker):
Well, technically this is "read at work" but it's too awesome to not post.
From a Spring Design handbook:
"Stress Concentration - The Troublemaker"
Because remember kids, sharp corners are the gateway drug of bad design! Be on the lookout for the following individuals....
*is repressing the urge to re-watch "Rebel Without A Cause"*
Someone's read "The Cask of Amontillado" one too many times.....
OR Reasons Why You Should be Watching “The Middleman”
(Monday Nights @9pm on ABCFamily)
Monday nights this summer have been an unexpected treat for me. Because in mid-July I discovered ABC Family’s “The Middleman”. Unfortunately, not enough other people have made the same discovery. Which is a shame because this is such a smart, funny show. So, in an effort to utilize my little Blogger soapbox for some good, here are some reasons why you should be tuning in…..
9) PSA Announcements from your friendly neighborhood superhero team.
8) With villains like alien-dictator boy bands, lucha libre wrestler gangs and trout eating zombies, who can resist watching? Seriously if you need more than "trout eating zombies", please leave my weblog immediately.
7) Come for the wacky villains, stay for the wacky catchphrases! In an effort to avoid swearing, the title character utilizes other means to express himself, including such gems as "Flowers for Algernon!", "Holy Onions!" and "Great hearts of palm that is grotesque!" (For more go here)
6) ART CRAWL! (thanks TWOP!)
5) Techno-bablble for very non-technical persons. For example,
A "HEYDAR" is
In technical terms: Global analysis and information gathering device capable of preforming onboard evidence analysis as well as universal intelligence searches across all data platforms.
In non-technical terms: It’s a big silver ball that gives us answers to things
4) The scene which sold me on the show - The milk interrogation in the first episode. 
3) You have to pay attention. Or you miss the running gags like different timezones in the time/place captions during the 3rd episode. My favorite was "9:50 PM Mitteleuropaische Sommerz". Or that episode with all the "Back to the Future" references.
2) For a show with trout eating zombies, they have a pretty good habit of showing the consequences of actions and giving those consequences emotional weight. Examples include: A confrontational performance artist has to learn how to follow her art without getting arrested because no one wants to hire someone with a record. People who’ve known you for years won’t be easily fooled by the usual cover stories (1000+ bonus pts for that alone).
1) (Totally a personal opinion) Isn't Matt Knessler reason enough?
The not-so-secret goal of this post is to have at least one person discover my weblog via a web-search for “trout eating zombies”.
[When informed a friend couldn't attend their weekly role-playing game because he cut off part of his finger]
Engineer: But he can still roll with his other hand!
I'm 98% certain he was joking.....Well, 95%.
Superman and all those other superheroes are creations of another age. I mean, who cares about supervillians on the rampage anymore. This is 2008 and we have 2008 super-problems that need solving. In a time when the price of oil is skyrocketing, who will be the superhero for our age?
It appears our cries for help at the gas pump are being answered.....Never fear, guess who is here!
Engineer1: “My boss is making me do this.”
Engineer2: “Her boss is [insert name here].”
Accountant: “Yeah, well, your boss doesn’t impress me.”
Once again, my coworker has received something amusing in the mail*. However, this time it is not a call to God. Today, it was a nicely printed invitation to dinner and some lectures on Estate Planning. Unfortunately, the lecture list provided does not inspire confidence. Please read the text in the red square:
Notice anything?.....Here’s a hint: J(1), T(2), W(3), R(4), O(5), S(6)...Yes, that’s right people who cannot differentiate between five & six are going to instruct you in financial matters. Note: these same people can exactly predict your losses ($780,800) from an incorrectly planned will. Perhaps it is only small numbers they have trouble with?
Also, I really don’t think they should be giving a lecture entitled “How to Disinherit You Own Children Unintentionally”.....It should be referred to by its true name, “How To Punish The Ungrateful Brats Without ‘Officially’ Disinheriting Anyone (And Getting Away With it)”.
*Why do I always get the boring junk mail? How is that remotely fair?
Via ManyBooks.Net, I am reading “Fifteen Thousand Useful Phrases”, a 1919 book which promoted better speech and vocabulary. The phrases are remarkably modern sounding. Only occasionally am I truly baffled. However with 15,000 phrases occasionally can be pretty often. Here’s some tidbits of linguistic delight:
Bucolic Cudgeling = To Beat the Sheep (not a euphemism)
Possible New Titles for My Weblog If I Ever Get Over the Introverted Thing:
“Phraseological quagmire”
“A dire monotony of bookish idiom”
“Surfeit of Verbiage”
“Some flash of witty irrelevance”
Which one of these words or phrases if employed by your child in a playground setting will result in said child getting beat up?
a. lettered coxcomb
b. arrant trifling
c. effulgent
d. All of the above
“Black necromancy”, “Necromatic power” and “Wizard Influence” are all considered “Must-Know Phrases” in 1919? For whom? Dr. Van Helsing?
“Obsolete Phraseology” – Unintentionally Funny Inclusion.
Modern Interpretations of 1919 Classics:
“Quondam Foe” – An Early Supervillian in the "Gundam" universe best known for his redemptive storyline
“Disposed to Cavil” – Being held prisoner by Cylon Human Model #1.
“Eccentric Casuists” – Followers of the “Luna Lovegood” School of Thought (no really)
“Hooligan Wind” – Another alter-ego for the X-Men’s “Storm”, used during her brief pickpocketing career.
“Lurid Picturesqueness” – aka a “Thomas Kinkaid” painting
“Culinary Myrmidons” – Edible Minions for Cannibalistic Super-Villains OR Just People Who Eat Their Vegetables? You Decide.
“Sacrosanct Fetish” – This can’t possibly mean what I’m thinking.
“Waxwork Sex” – WHAT?!
Category: “Ego Deflation”
Accountant: Why does this no-name have a fan club?!
Engineer: Everybody has a fan club.
Accountant: Even me?
Engineer: No.
PS - Wow, it's been almost two months since my last one of these....
It usually takes a couple of days for me to have withdrawal symptoms, but this isn't too far off the mark....
From work this week:
1) ATTENTION SUPPLIERS!!!! (specifically plastic injection-molders, metal stampers and powdered metal providers) Sending little gifts such as post-it stationary, calendars and pens is OK. However, if you truly wish to curry the favor of an engineer, please provide cheap but amusing TOYS!!
2) Things my co-workers can accomplish with a box of chocolates and a Darth Vader helmet:
Remember folks at work: (ahem)
I really do love my job but today was....terrible. I had plenty of eloquent words earlier but now that I think of them, they're too much like whining. So, it was bad. I'm glad I don't have to go to work for a couple of days. But, I'm choosing to focus on the positive. Here's the good things:
1) Talked to Parents on Phone for like an hour. Note to all: Good daughters do NOT call their mothers one day late to say "Happy Birthday". Even if Mom is forgiving, not cool.
2) Today is PI DAY!!! *does the math geek macarena*
3) Halfway through my super-drama-laden work day, one of my co-workers sends me this picture of a green tea bag label (note the circled kanji character):
Sense it makes that green tea Yoda likes.
4) In my mailbox is "Stargate: The Ark of Truth".
Because Stargate is LOVE, problem-solving, kick-ass people kicking ass and pretty, pretty explosions.
Have a good weekend!
From a discussion about the importance of proofreading emails:
Accountant: “A what?”
Engineer1: “A perusal. It’s a word. ”
Accountant: (pause) “Is that like a walk through Paris?”
Engineer2: “Yes, underground, hence the ‘U’.”
Ah, Fridays....
I’m not sure how this got started but somehow, yesterday was “Wacky Japanese Sign” day at work. A few of the exchanged pictures are simply too good not to share. Some pictures were taken by my co-workers while others are from the wonderful Engrish.com.
In deference to my love of warning signs:
I will be cropping and shrinking this into an icon soon (to go with my “Hand Smash” icon).
Here’s a slightly cultish Kentucky Fried Chicken picture.
I wonder if any Japanese were offended by this gross mis-use of the rising sun motif?
While smoking is rarely banned, there are certain rules of etiquette to be observed.
“Coats are expensive”?! Because honestly, someone exposing those around them to carcinogenic chemicals dispersed in the air actually cares about other people’s dry-cleaning bills?
I have no idea what this means...
Perhaps an advertisement for a mechanical device of some kind? It sounds vaguely dirty.
They even cover some remotely possible mis-uses of various facilities. See rule #2.
Imagine a murderer who has already dragged a dead body into a crowded train station.
*digs in pockets for change, glances at sign*
“No dead bodies allowed! Well, I’ll just bury him in my backyard then…” *Turns and leaves, dragging body behind him*
Please identify what’s wrong with this picture.
Finally, my absolute favorite:
“Ohhhhh, I could be like Princess Leia!” – My (male) supervisor while wearing a Styrofoam headdress......Yes, really.
Link to full post.
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